Luke 5:1-11

Here’s the story:

Jesus is pretty much a total celebrity at this point because he has been healing all these people and his ministry is at a peak. So there is this mob of people hoarding around him (aching to hear what He says and probably curious to see what He will do next) on the banks of this lake. At this point, Jesus walks up to this fisherman, Simon, as he is cleaning his nets getting ready for the next day of fishing. He basically just hops on into Simon’s boat and asks him to push him out into the water away from the people so he is not bombarded. 

First, He teaches the crowd of people and after that decides to tell these fishermen they need to go fishing again…they had a long, hard night the night before and caught nothing and yet Jesus tells them, to go out and fish again, right now. They obey, reluctantly, and what do you know? They catch such a HUGE net full of fish that their nets were breaking.

Here’s the story I heard behind the story:

And when he had finished speaking he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” And Simon answered, “Master, we struggled all night and caught nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.”  (v. 4-5)

Sometimes we have to learn to trust God by doing exactly what we have been doing every day, over and over again. These fishermen had been fishing every day for probably years, and then all of the sudden Jesus comes along and makes their job new again.

He tells us to trust Him, leave the bank and cast out into the deep (direct parallel to whatever you feel he has called you to do) even if you might have been there before and found nothing.

I am at this season of my life where often I feel overwhelmed by the tasks at hand, but through this scripture I felt like Jesus made something clear: Even if you have tried something before, sometimes God calls us to do it over again, maybe numerous times. But the difference comes when you ask yourself: are you doing it with him, or ignorantly trying to control and perform with your own abilities? How often we think we know everything and think we have control of our jobs and lives. I do, all the time, only to be blown away by things going completely another direction.

 “And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them.” (v. 7)

When the fishermen trusted the Lord and did as He asked, they pulled in exactly what they had been striving after for so long. So much so, they could not even contain the amount…what they found exceeded every expectation and broke their worldly limitations.

Whatever place you are in right now, sometimes it’s a really heavy load to try and pull in all God has given you. Which is why, I think God was trying to remind me how I am not alone in this place of my life.  “They signaled to their partners…to come and help them.” How often, in the midst of the heavy loads and hard times do we ask for help?

Even the Godhead Himself is 3 in 1 and over and over he reminds us how it is not good for man to be alone: ex. Genesis 2:18, Ecc 4:10

But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken… (v. 8-9)

Peter’s response to this was not excitement of how much worldly wealth he had acquired with his friends, but instead his response was to stop what he was doing and fall at the feet of Jesus, declaring his sinfulness. He fell before God recognizing his own sinfulness and becoming aware of how Jesus is enough.

And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” And when they had brought their boats to the land, they left everything and followed him.” (v. 10-11)

Jesus patiently and humbly never throws his divinity and sovereignty in our faces when we realize our sinfulness, but lovingly calls us to remember the Truth of who we are in the midst of our lives every day. No matter what we do from day to day, we are called to love others because He first loved us. As simple as that sounds, its not a formula and it looks different for all of us.

For me, I cannot be reminded enough to stop getting distracted by the things I cannot control. Instead I need to remember to approach my day to day life with joyful uncertainty, completely trusting God things will happen as they should.

ABIDE in Him as He ABIDES in you.  That word just gets me every time…

Surrender vs. Sacrifice

"For I desire mercy and not sacrifice; knowledge of God and not burnt offerings." 

Hosea 6:6 

After reading this verse in Hosea, all I could think about were two words: surrender and sacrifice. What do these two words look like in life and what is the difference between the two?

To surrender means to relinquish possession or control to another, to submit to the power, authority, and control of another....I think the step that follows surrendering to God is an act of sacrifice– the action of actually giving up these things. Surrender is to accept the call before you, but sacrifice is the literal carrying out of surrender.

"Surrendering (He accepted His call) to the Father’s will, He emptied Himself, became man and was found in the form of a servant whereby the Lord Jesus willingly gave Himself sacrificially (actually carried out in His life and through actions) that God’s will might be fulfilled in and though His life and death." 

Christ voluntarily surrendered Himself (emptied Himself) and anything and everything that stood in the way of the glory and gain of His Father through the sacrifice of His life.

Jesus' sacrifices actually began when He emptied himself of His privileges and the prerogatives that were His as the second person of the Trinity. In becoming man, He veiled and laid aside the voluntary use and glory of His many attributes as God the Son. Then, in this life on earth, He did without wealth, position, status, and even acceptance in that He was rejected by His own.

Surrendering to God’s agenda may mean sacrificing the things we hold most precious—our goods, reputation, comfort, convenience, and a whole list of other things we hold so tightly in our hands as well as those things we hope and plan for.

While part of our surrender is sacrificing those things that are appealing to our flesh, Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice; a sacrifice much bigger than our minor inconveniences. He sacrificed Himself for us, we surrender to this Truth. This Truth, that Jesus died for us so that we might live in freedom with Him, changes everything. It is almost impossible for us to even comprehend what that may mean, but that is why we continue to worship Him and continue to seek knowledge of Him...our entire lives are a process of sanctification, preparing us for the day we will come to know Him and the fullness of the Truth that set us free.

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." 

Micah 6:8 

Lord, help me surrender my life to you every hour of every single day because you paid the sacrifice for me. Forgive us for our lack of understanding, but give us your living hope as we walk in faith. Help me know the Truth of who you are more and more...

"Faith is not the absence of doubt, but the presence of belief."

All things work by good design for those who believe.

4 weeks down.

First two weeks I was in survival mode. I fought through the days with a strong confidence on the outside, but the second the bell rang and the kids were out the door, my eyes gave way to tears.

I would not go as far as to say things have gotten easier, but every day has been different. I have managed to get in somewhat of a routine. Alarm goes off at 5:00am every morning, head straight to the coffee pot and then proceed to transform my image into this new teacher look I've got going on: J. Crew outfits dominate my closet, Nike shorts and T-shirts are reserved for the second I walk back in the door.

6:10am-6:40am
Commuting via carpool to school with my wonderful colleagues.

6:40am-7:30am
Consists of mainly coaxing the copy machine to work, conversations with my stapler, singing aloud to my favorite wake-up songs in my room as I prepare to face the day etc. 

7:30am-8:30am
My first student, same one every day, walks in at 7:30am on the dot. I love this little boy, he cannot sit still...whether army crawling on the floor, bouncing up and down in his chair, or dancing between the desks I am convinced this muffin has ants in pants. My homeroom class has quickly become my little family. They eat breakfast (a delicious Title 1 meal with absolutely zero nutrition such as pizza or corn dogs) in my room then spend a half an hour practicing reading. Currently, I read to them a few days a week out of "James and the Giant Peach" by Ronald Dhal. I take my place in the reading chair while my children gather around me like my baby ducklings. They love when I read to them and especially when I read in accents, "Oooo Miss Pitts, how you do that?! You sound like you from English."

8:35am-9:45am
First period class consists of my homeroom plus about 10 more kids who file in. My students are grouped by standardized test scores and this class is my lowest performing. They are all on a 3rd grade reading level, some even lower. I have noticed I show significantly more joy and energy in this class...haven't yet figured out how to pace myself.

9:50am-11:00am
Second period class is nuts. There are so many of them, I just do not know how to make them stop talking. Its literally like mosquitos buzzing in my ear for 70 mins. I may resort to lighting some citronella candles in there.

11:00am-11:30am
6th grade lunch in the cafeteria aka CHAOS. This is when I put on my serious teacher face, stand in a corner of the cafeteria, and hover around my daily lunch detention crew. They sit there eating their lunch in silence until eventually I sit down with them and torture them with questions:

Ms Pitts: "What good does it do to tell Javonte his mama is ugly? You do not even know his mom and he does not know yours."

Student: "But Ms. Pitts, nobody talks about my mama!"

Ms. Pitts: "He does not even know your mama, so why do you let it bother you? And why are you looking at me like you just sucked on a lemon?"

Student: "Ugh. Ms. Pitts I ain't doing that. I didn't do anything."

Ms. Pitts: "Go look at yourself in the mirror and I want to see you smile tomorrow."

11:30am-12:45pm
My planning period/my little time of serenity and sanity! Most days I just sit behind my desk, turn on Josh Garrels, eat lunch and pray for my kids until I am ready to actually be productive again.

12:50pm-2:00pm
Fifth period is my "highest" achieving class, therefore their behavior is probably the best. As far as I can tell they appear to actually be learning, but there are some relationships kindling between some of the boys and girls...lets just say the notes I pick up make me laugh. So romantic.

2:05pm-3:15pm
I mentally prepare for Sixth period like preparing for battle..."Breathe Jennie, just breathe." Walk in to my class in this time period and I can promise you, as your jaw drops from the chaos and you plug your ears to muffle the noise level, you will walk out with a story. The second they enter the room quickly transforms into a jungle of all kinds of monkeys from gorillas to chimpanzees and spider monkeys. Please someone send me a taser or some form of behavior management weapon...these kids are crazy.

Aside from the two fist fights I broke up in that class, we are slowly building our relationship and I am working my way through this challenge with a stern face. I am determined to reach these kids...one by one, they WILL behave, they WILL learn and they WILL respect.

3:30pm 
The teacher across the hallway has a little boy in kindergarten...every day when the clock strikes half past 3:00pm, my little sunshine runs in my door and bounds and leaps in my lap. Every day, he is my day maker. For all you single gentlemen out there, I would recommend taking some lessons from a 5 year old, hes officially conquered my heart...

Although school is over at 3:15pm every day, somehow I do not usually return home until around 5:30pm. The second sixth period is over, I take a deep breath, clean up my room, organize my papers and spend some time gathering myself for the next day.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not recieve the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it." –Luke 18:15-17

All through out the day, little heads constantly pop in and out of my door in passing just to say hello. Little do they know each small voice feeds whatever it is within me that keeps me going. Even though I do not know what I am doing most days, I deeply care about my students. I truly believe all things work by good design for those who believe.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men..." –Colossians 3:23

What is prayer?

The word Psalms comes from a Greek word which means, "a song sung to the accompaniment of a musical instrument." 

On rainy days my mood becomes somber and calmed, while on sunny days my mood seems to lift. I like to think of a soundtrack playing in the background of my life...on good days, I walk with a pep in my step and its almost like I'm dancing to jazz or skipping to some folk music, but on rainy days, my head hangs lower and I love my slow chill Josh Garrels music. Every day, the songs I sing to God change with the music playing in the background of my life. While we cannot always control our circumstances or what weather comes, we can control how we respond to what comes our way every day.

The Psalms are prayers; David's intimate and personal response to the different seasons in his life. Sometimes he sings praises, while in others I cannot find apparent joy but only remorse or pain. I love the authenticity of the psalms, they make me feel like I am not alone in the way I feel sometimes. I realize it is okay to be mad or upset or in pain or confused, and then there are days when things make complete sense and all I can do is praise Him with a smile. The most valuable thing we can begin to learn about prayer is God just wants us to come exactly how we are; in honesty and truth.  

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life; whom shall I be afraid?"

                          –Psalm 27: 1

Light exposes us, it exposes the darkness in our lives and makes us recognize how hopeless and helpless we are without Jesus. When we finally begin to see how deeply Jesus loves us, we begin to see how near he is to us even on the days it may not feel like it.

Prayer is really just the realization we need Jesus and we just want to be with Him. The true meaning of prayer comes upon us when we finally become fully conscious of our brokenness.

What does prayer mean to you?

"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage. Wait for the Lord."

                     –Psalms 27:13-14

I smile when I look up

Its been quite difficult to grasp one of the thousands of thoughts constantly racing through my head before it disappears into the fleeting abyss of my mind. But, I have managed to find rest in simply living in moments of clarity, moments of joy, moment upon moment of truly accepting life for what it brings.

This is a new season for me, its a season of truly living out faith in a new and unfamiliar place. I no longer have hours of college-life to sit still, read, write and absorb the beauty of music, language and art. A bud can only absorb so much from its source before it must burst with color and life. Its time to open up to a new place in the world and share the shades of color I have conjured up to this point. 

Charleston, SC 

I am about to begin teaching 6th grade social stuides at a school in Holly Hill, South Carolina. I have few memories about what it was like to be in middle school, but from what I remember, its not easy. Hormones are raging and its that time in your life when you have little idea of who you are or what you aspire to become. These kiddos just need direction as I needed then and continue to need now. As their teacher, I really just want to serve as a source of inspiration and hope for them.

Coming from a entirely different society and culture this rural school is unfamiliar and the people are intriguingly different. I am nervous of the change coming, but also eagerly anticipating a new perspective and clearer understanding of the world I live in.

As all things with Him turn out to be–all things work for the good of those who love Him. I believe and know He is with me and guiding me down this twisting and turning path. I smile when I look up because there I see peace and gentle rest. Creation echos a reminder that even when we are frustrated by our inability to understand circumstance, manifestations of divine comfort cushion the harsh realities around us. Our only reasonable option is to rely on the Word and the promises of God. 

“I may repeat "Do as you would be done by" till I am black in the fact, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbour as myself: and I cannot learn to love my neighbour as myself till I learn to love God: and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him. And so, as I warned you, we are driven on to something more inward - driven on from social matters to religious matters. For the longest way round is the shortest way home." 

–C.S. Lewis 

Dream big.

Enjoy your story.

Dark Side of the Lens

Live creatively.