First of all, nooo I do not receive joy from looking in the mirror and say "daaang girl you look good!"....haha. For a long while though, I thought if I look good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, people will like me better which was quite a rude lie. Now after years of dealing with this insecurity and growing through it, I have learned so much about myself and who I am. I love myself for who Christ made me to be. And I still enjoy being healthy and working out in order to let go of stress and be a good steward of the body God has blessed me with....its when my vision becomes skewed again (which it does almost every day) that it becomes an idol. The second I start working out and eating healthy again for the wrong reasons, I realize it eventually and take steps to remind myself how to let go of this idol. No, I cannot tell you when it is your body or whatever it may be becomes an idol to you, because you just know. You know when you really think about it, if your body and working out is something that takes precedent to the more important things in life God has called you to. I think thats awesome that you took the initiative to stop working out for awhile to see what the Lord had to teach you...thats a perfect example of personal accountability. Never hesitate to re-consider and re-evaluate things in your life, even when you do not think you are wrong. It is always okay to think about these things and remind yourself why you are doing these things or acting this way. Its healthy to re-evaluate every so often, even the things you may think are the "good" things in your life.
You have idols. You always will and you do right now. That is human nature and part of our fallen, sinful self....to desire more than what God has given us.
Heres some more examples: Ministry itself can be an idol when we are doing it to get brownie points with God. Sometimes I overwhelm myself and exhaust myself because I am working so hard to attain God's love, that becomes an idol; I am putting my own efforts at salvation before what Christ did for me without really realizing it! Christ made the propitiation for my sins on the cross and by trying to save myself and earn God's love I am reaping fulfillment from what I can do to obtain His love, rather than just accept it and share it with others. Also, sometimes I find myself enjoying the attention I receive from people because it makes me feel needed and wanted, not because it is bringing glory to God. Sometimes I realize I say things just so that people will think highly of me and "like" me more. Sometimes I conform to the way people want me to be so that I will be accepted and people will include me. We do these little things and have these little thoughts, but those are little idols and desires which disguise themselves in the most ordinary things that we often do not acknowledge them as seeds of idols. The little sparks of idols are more often than not, very hard to identify because they are not loud and boisterous. Money and body image are loud, but what about just the tiny desire to be liked by people so you can feel better about yourself? What about the idol you create when you look at talented athlete and slightly incline your mind to wanting to be like him? Just those little thoughts are minor idols forming in your mind...we have little tastes of idols every day, every single person on earth does.
I think, you think, idols are bad things. Just like everything else, idols are things god created to be good. Money for instance...money is not a bad thing, we just make it bad when we let it take precedent in our lives. Body image...the way you view body is not bad, until you make it more than what God made it to be. Relationships...relationships are not bad until you allow them to consume your thoughts. Ministry is not bad, its a very good thing...but if I let myself start reaping selfish benefits from it and not constantly using it to glorify God, it is going in the wrong direction. Looking up to an athlete is not bad, but when you start comparing yourself to him and discounting the gifts and talents God has given you individually, then you are not using a role model for the right reasons.
Is this starting to make a little more sense? Idols can be good, just like every "bad" thing in your life...when they turn us back to thinking about Jesus and reminding us of our own fallen selves. Just like how you think of things you have done in the past and you hate that you did them, but they have shaped you and allowed you to grow. Just as you cannot know the full strength of light until you know the deepest depth of darkness. We have to see what God is NOT in order to see what and who he truly is. Hope that helps!
No comments:
Post a Comment