There are many things going on in my life from preparing for Teach for America Institue to graduating from college and leaving relationships and a place I have come to call home. I have found myself uneasy and in a place of little control. Time is passing quickly and I cannot, even if I want to, control several things in my life. I want it to slow down. I want it to speed up. I want to know what will happen in the future. I want to know what city in South Carolina I will be. I want to know the children's names and faces and smiles I will encounter in the duration of the next 2 years. I want to know if I can even handle this. I want to know my friends will still be there when I come back.
God has been teaching me a great deal about understanding the matters of our heart. The things we do every day, the emotions we feel, the things we seek and desire, even the littlest trivial things we say...they are ALL reflections of the condition of our hearts. Our day to day lives and what we choose to do with them are a powerful way God speaks to us.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
What it all comes down to is, do I really trust Jesus? Do I really believe in His faithfulness? We can live our lives in constant worry and anxiety about what will happen or we can reach out and grab hold of His hand. We can walk blindly knowing not where we are going, but who is leading us.
Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you care so much about where you are going? Who you are dating? Why you are feeling this way or that? What is it you are really seeking?
Perfect relevant example: we seek relationships because we really "like him or her" or "just need a boyfriend/girlfriend"...No, no really you just crave to be cared for, you crave to be loved and to know you are not alone. You want someone there to encourage you and adore you and help you on the good days and bad days. These things are not bad to desire in and of themselves, but seek Him first and these desires will be met. Relationships, whether plutonic friendships or romances, are not a means of securing your value and discovering purpose, they are a reflection of the way He first loved us. They are a reminder of Him. The way we love others should be a natural response to knowing Him and what He has done for you. Relationships are about sacrifice in response to the way Jesus loved and continues to love you.
What are things you crave today? What are your insecurities and what can they teach you about what God is trying to say to you?
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
..and he will be the stability of your times, abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is Zion’s treasure. Isa. 33:6
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