"Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear." -Maximus

Tonight was one of those nights when I just wanted to come home, cuddle up in bed and escape the chaos of the world. So I found myself lying in my bed immersed in the relentless courage and valor of Maximus in Gladiator. Whether Maximus or William Wallace, something about the Savior character always manages to make my heart race and send tears streaming down my face by the end of the movie. This time, instead of tears came contemplation after Maximus states one of his many bold lines in the movie:

"Nothing happens to anyone that he is not fitted by nature to bear." 

At once I heard a voice in my head quietly murmuring, "What am I fitted by nature to bear?" In other words, I felt myself questioning if I really believe I am equipped enough for my own battles.

When was the last time I indisputably believed, without question, God is enough for me?

As a child, my innate adventurous and daring nature took me racing through fields bareback on horses, swimming in cool summer streams, climbing to the highest branches and fully believing the world was at my fingertips. Back then, I never once questioned what people would think of me, or if I was good enough. In my world, horses could talk and nothing inhibited my outrageous imagination. There were no limits, whatsoever, to possibility and no one could convince me otherwise.

No wonder Jesus told his disciples,"...unless you become like children you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3

And no wonder his Spirit inspires people today, like JK Rowling and CS Lewis, to write children's books about magical worlds and flying dragons.

And no wonder I still read them.

As we grow up we tend to question our own abilities again, and again. The world and whatever forces at work within it seem to bridle our childhood fearlessness and instill in us a foreign sense of self-doubt. The Truth of who we were born to be in Eden was interrupted by the serpents question, "But did God say...". Today it is the same voice of the Fall that makes us reach for control and doubt if God has provided enough for us. Instead of listening to the whisper of who we were created to be, we listen to the voice of the world screaming at us to become who we think we should be. 

Our royal identity as Sons and Daughters of the King of all Kings is now the object of our insecurities; what was once so indisputably ingrained in us when we were formed has now become the birthplace of our deepest fears.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather be the little girl who races through fields and relentlessly believes, even when it doesn't make sense to believe; even if it means being disappointed over, and over again. Like Maximus, I want to carry myself with an air of true honor and courage; I want to believe without question, I have been completely and utterly equipped to bear all things, believe all things, endure all things because my Hope does not put me to shame.

So, the question is: who were you before you started questioning who you were? 

"Faith is not the absence of doubt but the presence of belief."

"My child, there is not happiness without courage, no virtue without sorrow."

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7