What are you seeking?

Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, "What are you seeking?" John 1:38

I can just see Jesus looking me in the eyes, saying "What do you want from me? What makes me different than anyone else? Do you truly believe I am the One who came to save you?" I think Jesus is asking real Faith and trust of the disciples even before they begin to follow Him. "Are you sure you want to do this? I cannot offer you worldly material gifts, and I do not offer all the answers, but if you really trust me, and trust who I am then...Come and you will see."

3 years later, Jesus still says the same simple things to his followers..."Come and eat."

"Jesus said to them, 'Come and have breakfast.' Now none of them dared ask him, 'Who are you?' They knew it was the Lord." John 21:12

All day I could not get this picture out of my mind of Jesus glancing at me over his shoulder saying "Jennie, what are you seeking? What do you want from me?" I went running and over and over again His voice echoed in my ears. What am I seeking from Jesus? Why do I follow Him every day? I thought long and hard how I would answer Him and I think all I could say would be, Jesus I want life.

I want life to the fullest. Its almost like that childhood excitement you get when you got the coolest new toy for Christmas. You spend all day and the next few weeks just trying to learn how to use it. I feel like God made me to be this intricate toy, full of many gifts and talents and I have yet to even begin knowing myself and the potential I have for God to use me. I want to follow Jesus to have life to the fullest, to let Him mold me into the best that I can be and that is into His own image. I want to learn to be like Him and to never stop trying to get to know Him like He knows me.

The Real Gift

This world is cruel, creation is groaning beneath the surface and crying out to be saved from its pain. Our ancestors since the Fall of humanity have suffered greatly, but we tend to get so lost in our own selfish world sometimes and forget that our Savior suffered just as we do.

Like a sheep he was led to slaughter,
and like a lamb before its shearer,
so he does not open his mouth.
In his humiliation justice was denied him.
-Isaiah

Jesus saw the JOY in the midst of the pain–He could see that when it was finished the whole world would have access to His Father again–he kept enduring for our sake. Jesus died so that we might have life in Him.

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed;
always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be visible in our bodies.
So death is at work in us, but life in YOU.
-2 Corinthians 4

While sometimes we may feel as though God has abandoned us and doubt has shadowed our faith, His Grace sustains and strengthens us and we must have the courage to seek the JOY beyond the shadows even when you cannot visibly see it.

May we allow God to isolate us, it is in this experience of isolation that the Lord develops an independence of life and faith so that the soul no longer depends on the continual help, prayer, faith and care of others. God allows these difficulties to come upon you in order to bring you closer to Himself. Even though we do not understand it, we can be assured Jesus has not come to separate us from Himself, but to cause you to cling to Him more faithfully, firmly and simply.

Let us enjoy His light and comfort when it is His pleasure to give it to us, but may we have the faith and steady determination not to attach ourselves to his gifts.