Thorn Bird.

Tonight at Catholic Mass, Father Anthony shared with us this story:
There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in its life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves the nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one. Then, singing among the savage branches, it impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine. And, dying, it rises above its own agony to out-carol the lark and the nightingale. One superlative song, existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen, and God in His heaven smiles. For the best is only bought at the price of great pain... or so says the legend...

I was moved so deeply by this image. Something in this small bird's dying song struck a chord within me. I got lost in mass tonight in a funny dream, I could hear the bird singing. There was something singing within me a beautiful song of hope for whatever lies ahead, it tells me "To live is Christ, to die is gain." God cannot work through despair, he cannot move in denial or shame, God cannot move when we give up or quit trying. God moves through us when we are willing to be moved. Whether he will move us to suffering or comfort we do not know, but through faith we have to TRUST Him.

My Jesus, Our Jesus, is the songbird. He died upon the sharpest thorn singing the most beautiful song. For those of us who hear His song resonate in our soul, it makes us stop in our tracks and be still. Heaven smiles and we know the Hope of eternity. With that we must work, we must sacrifice and love until everyone hears the same song that came to save us.

"May the eyes of your heart may be enlightened that you may know the HOPE to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-19

The Wait.

It seems were always waiting.
As a child we wait for Santa Claus to come down the chimney, our birthday party once a year, our first tooth to fall out, our Dad to come home from work, the first time to wear make-up and see PG-13 movies, the first time to fly in an airplane.
Then we wait to see if we made the volleyball team or the cheerleading squad, we wait to get asked to prom, for the day we rule the school as "seniors", to get the SAT score back, the big step when we apply to college and anxiously await responses.
Eventually, we move away from home and wait for the adventure college holds.
In college life stands still and we never want to leave the never-ending-vacation, but theres still something lingering in us that is waiting for something more.
There is a whole life out there waiting for us to find it, or it to find us.

As much as I have always wanted to get over this whole phase of waiting, I think theres much to be said about this idea of waiting that shows up again and again in our lives.

I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God. Psalm 38:15

When we are in waiting we feel uncertain and unsure, we ask ourselves, "On what is my hope based?" "Where do I find joy and comfort again?" We find none in the contemplation of the world itself, in man and his pursuits; in the course of things so shadowy and so mysterious, we ultimately find ourselves contemplating God.

The contemplation of a world so vain, so shadowy, so mysterious leads us away from expecting to find what we need in the world or finding a solution to the questions which confuse us...ultimately this contemplation brought on by the "wait" leads us to the great God who is infinitely wise, and who can meet all the necessities of our inadequate human nature. In his own time, our Lord can solve all these mysteries, so why not wait on Him and not our own desire to control and understand?

And so today I will wait. I am going to be here, present to what life hands me. And when its time to be somewhere else, I will be there...present to what life hands me there.

Are we supposed to be comfortable or always living in Trust?